“Vyce, I feel deep in my heart that your business is about to take off. Every time I see your launch promos, I’m very proud. This thing is about to be bigger than you ever could imagine. I just feel it!”
Just last week, my pastor said to me that what took others years to do, God’s going to cut the time considerably, and I will have to make the decision to stay at my “paycheck job,” as I call it, or leave it.
I PERSONALLY heard from God BEFORE anyone said anything to me in confirmation. When I wanted to quit during the process of this rebrand, I couldn’t because I heard His voice that this launch was going to change my life. For once in my life, I knew it was true. For once in my life, I BELIEVED it was true. I’ve always believed in God, but I also put HIs power in a box never truly placing complete faith in His sovereignty. And even with my limited faith, God proved over and over again that He got this IF I let Him have it, so I did.
I let Him have my anguish, guilt, anger, and gut wrenching pain of losing my daughter. I let Him have the years of carrying dead weight both mentally and physically. I let Him have the burden of panic attacks and anxiety. I let Him have this business. Life, has presented a new conundrum though that really brings in the question of “cushion or faith.”
My current employment situation grieves me each and every time I log in. I know God is pulling me in a different direction and it will be a swift move. I recall a sermon in which a point was made, in essence, that sometimes we may be in an uncomfortable situation right before God elevates us. Well, my elevation is surely near because when I say I just want to cry and sometimes DO cry when I sit to work, the struggle is real!
I work from home which most people would love to do, and not that I don’t love the flexibility – I hate the work. It’s not me AT ALL and pretty much takes all my education and experience and throws them in a very hot incinerator. It provides a check that my family needs (cushion), but I would much rather work my passion until my passion works for me (faith). When weighing out the cushion vs faith option, you have to exercise wisdom and a sound mind – I get that. I have a husband and a child. It wouldn’t be fair to just declare I’m done and have the entire weight of our household fall on my husband without any preparation for such a decision. Even with all the faith in the world, that’s not a logical decision. BUT…
What if God is leading me in this direction in an effort for His glory to shine through? Depend on Him and Him ALONE to carry you through the rough period because His promise is greater than my paycheck job. Logic and faith don’t coexist. Logic and faith CAN’T coexist. I get that too, BUT…how do I reconcile what I KNOW to be the voice of God and my thought process? What must I do to be free to walk the path of faith where that cushion isn’t that comfortable, and you never want to sit for long; you have to keep moving or in my case, keep working the dream knowing that the God I serve is going to fulfill the vision. BUT…
WHEN? It’s not for me to know. It’s not for me to be concerned with it, BUT I am! I don’t want God to delay his promise simply because I won’t put 100% of my faith in Him and what He told me. I also don’t want to cause my family undo financial stress simply because I hate my job. Cushion or faith? What’s it gonna be? There just might be a way to combat this dilemma, but I have to exercise patience and continue to listen to God’s “right now” voice. By doing that, when the time comes, there will be no wrestling, no doubts, and no turning back!