Every now and then we run across people who clearly don’t know their worth. It’s evident in what they post, how they carry themselves, what they say out loud, and so on. How does one expect to be treated like royalty when you see yourself as a pauper? Maybe you don’t know you’re giving off “I’m unworthy” vibes, so allow me to lay out a few hints.
- You air your dirty laundry on social media in hopes that you’ll find a posse of folks to be down for your cause and mad at who and whatever you’re mad at or depressed about.
- You’re up one day and down the next and everyone is along for the ride they didn’t ask to be picked up on.
- You find yourself looking for “love” and mistake lust, lies, and infatuation for the real thing.
- People don’t know how to approach you because they don’t know if they’re getting Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. or Mrs. Hyde.
- You say horrible things about yourself to others AND to yourself. (negative self-talk)
Do you really want the court of public opinion to validate your often misplaced feelings? Do you REALLY want people on your side so you’ll feel better? Must you have a social pity party and invite us all to it? You need a social media build up so your self-worth meter rises a few degrees above freezing? Let me hip you to something. What if your 1000’s of friends and followers respond, “It’s ok, girl,” “You’re beautiful. I love you,” “Don’t even worry about it. They don’t deserve you anyway.”? You keep checking back for more one-liner pep talks and feel so blessed to have good “friends.” How do you feel after the post is no longer on timelines and the comments cease to become a Facebook memory? You log off and are still alone – literally and mentally. You feel no more joy than the last uplifting, probably somewhat shallow, surface area comment you read. Your self-worth was predicated on the opinions of others who probably don’t have enough damns to give about whatever it is that’s eating you. The ones who do don’t need to prove it on social media, and NONE of the above matter anyway if YOU don’t think you’re worth more.
Forrest Gump said his mama said that life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. Some people are like that too. We don’t know who we’ll get from one day to the next. Heck, from one HOUR to the next! One day you’re triumphant and can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. The next day, you’re in tears and going off on folk who just said good morning and how are you? How ARE you? Still, the next day, you’re confused and lack focus to do required tasks. Then back to quoting scriptures cause you went to church Sunday and pastor spoke directly to you and you feel so much better. Do you, though? I’m a witness – I was NOT. I love to laugh and I’m not going to be all up and down and unstable, but behind the laughter was someone who didn’t know her self-worth. Yes, I love God; believe in Him wholeheartedly, but who I didn’t believe in was me. I’m telling you, the roller coaster makes folk dizzy, and sooner or later, they’ll start to tolerate you but don’t want to be bothered with you.
We all want love. To be loved; to fall in love; to bask in the light of love – we want all that, but a self-love deficiency negates any of the above. We just know that if he or she would sweep us off our feet, then the planets will align and our worlds would be centered. What happens when the sweep lands us in the dust? What happens when there’s an eclipse and NO light is shining at the moment? We go out looking for new light switches who abuse us, use us, take advantage of our hearts, ignore us and on and on. We change jobs, churches, friends; all in an effort to build worth in ourselves when all we’re doing is moving our messy selves around hoping the environment will clean the mess, but the mess is within. We don’t love ourselves enough to know that we are enough! Seasons change and new flowers grow, but you are still enough with or without. You have to own your value, and don’t put undue pressure on someone else or something else to add to what they never gave you to start with. Be completely worthy and worth it all by your dang self. You can never adequately love anyone until you love yourself. I KNOW what I’m talking about – trust me! It’s a journey, but one that must be taken.
Christ has plans for you that only you can carry out. When you’re moping around as if you weren’t fearfully and wonderfully made, how will you be open to the wondrous things God has laid up for you? You may even miss the message and forfeit your destiny simply because you don’t see yourself as HE sees you.
You are a masterpiece. A MASTERPIECE! Do you know what that is?! It takes dedication, determination, and skill to create a masterpiece. When an artist has labored to fashion a piece of epic proportions, it’s his or her masterpiece – precious and priceless. You are precious to God. Why aren’t you precious to YOU? He created you, and He would NEVER create worthless junk. Stand free in that and move forward to the good things He planned for you.
I don’t know what broke you down. I don’t know what lead to your self-hate or feelings of worthlessness. I’m here to tell you to start clearing yourself a path to restoration. Seek help if your self-worth is so destroyed that you can’t begin to rebuild it. Not on social media. Not from others. It begins and ends with you. Self-worth is worth what? It’s priceless. It’s peace. It’s joy even in the midst of chaos. What’s it worth to you?