Jigsaw Person

When a puzzle is all put together, it displays some kind of image, but the lines indicate that it can be taken apart again. Some people choose to tape it up and frame it so it remains in-tact for years to come, but even taped up, the puzzle is still fragile, so you have to be careful when handling it. When visitors walk by and see the masterpiece puzzle, they simply admire the pretty picture not thinking about the state the puzzle was in prior to its framed glory. Everyone looks beyond the cracks because it’s presented so well.

A puzzle left on a table for pure decor will eventually start to wear or curl up on the edges. Someone bumps the table and it shifts. It may not come apart, but it’s out of sync and maybe a little lopsided. A small adjustment will make it appear back to normal. Puzzles don’t tend to have much value other than for some brain exercise and entertainment purposes. It just goes back in the box, and no one ever gives it another thought.

Well, someone apparently misplaced a piece, so NOW when the puzzle is put together, it’s never really complete because a part is missing. The picture it made is without a part needed to make it whole. What do you do? I mean, it’s JUST a puzzle. Throw it away and get another one. Who wants a puzzle with a missing piece? That missing piece will bug the crap out you, right?

But wait. There are jigsaw people walking this Earth. They are well put together, but do you know the box they came out of? Did you know how many pieces they were in? This isn’t some kiddy puzzle where there’s 5 or 10 humongous pieces and you know exactly how to make it right. This is a complex being with a back story fresh out the box. Some of their pieces were lost. Some of their edges were starting to wear out. YET, they still walk wholly broken. They couldn’t be framed and preserved, but they still LOOK pretty. Come closer though. Really study the jigsaw person, and you will see the lines are there. The lines that separate their pieces are there. Pieces like…

  • abuse
  • guilt
  • shame
  • arrogance
  • insecurity18214-life-isnt-about-finding-pieces-of-a-puzzle-its-about-creating
  • distrust
  • anger/rage
  • sickness
  • despair 

BUT those pieces come together and present…

  • joy
  • happiness
  • confidence
  • self-reliance
  • strength

Jigsaw persons are complex. Much thought has to be put into how to approach the living conundrum. Handle them with care because you never know from which box they sprang forth. You’ll never know if a piece is missing, but even if it is, you can’t throw them away and get another box. There are no other boxes. You only get one shot at the jigsaw person. No frames – but on display. No tape – but still fragile.

Each and every one of us is a jigsaw, but it is our job to seek understanding and look beyond the lines that separate the pieces of a person. Don’t pull apart the jigsaw person and leave them lifeless with missing pieces thrown to and fro. It is NOT our job to piece them together in the image WE’D like them to be, and if we don’t like the pieces or it gets too hard to put together – just forget it. We can’t bang the pieces with a hammer or shoe (you know how you’d get frustrated with your puzzles) and just MAKE them fit either. Be compassionate, be honest, be kind, be praying…

Love yourself, jigsaw person(s), lines (cracks) and all. Those pieces are just that, pieces. Yes, they make you who you are, but there’s another truth in your whole person. Find that and walk in it. Blessings…

Healing Words

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I share this story in hopes that it will touch someone’s heart and assure them that they are not alone. On the morning of May 17, 2006, I prepared to leave work for my routine ob-gyn appointment. When I got into the exam room, unbeknownst to me, my blood pressure was 150/110. Ok, so??? The nurse practitioner was having trouble finding our little precious one, so she called the doctor in. I’ll never forget his cold, heartless words, “Sorry, but she’s gone.” WHAT DID I JUST HEAR?! He tells us our daughter is gone and then goes to sit in the corner.

On May 19, the day our daughter was stillborn. Our hearts were broken into minute pieces so small a microscope wouldn’t be able to detect them. I pushed through the natural labor and the silence in the room was more like a full marching percussion section. It was real now. She really wasn’t going home with us. We had already had one of the showers. I can’t go home without a baby. It was unreal…this ordeal. I wanted to ball myself up and be thrown away in any trash heap that could be found. I felt like a failure; like I didn’t do right by my daughter. Our sweet Triniti Lauren needed me and there was nothing I could do to save her. I was helpless.

I’m going to blog some more about the aftermath of this tragedy and how grief almost consumed me – well, it DID consume me, but I had to let go. That’s another story for another blog post. I wanted to encourage women out there who have faced this horrible scenario. How you feel is OK. YOU are OK! No one is allowed to tell you how or for how long you should grieve, but don’t allow your grief to transform itself into a living, breathing being. That’s what I did and that thing took over my life. You will have days when you just want to scream and cry, and that too is OK, but remember ALL things work together for the GOOD of them who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. His purpose for me and my husband wasn’t to bring our daughter home, but to propel us into a series of events that lead to an atypical miracle. Her life was not in vain and neither are your precious angels. Here a few Healing Words for me, and I pray it blesses you too.

Healing Words

I’m really having a hard time as of late

Relational Revelations – Loyalty and Stuff

Have you ever wondered…

  1. Why on EARTH are some people so incredibly “clever?” You can usually smell rain before it falls, so most know BS when it’s being delivered, but by all means, continue…
  2. Why do you keep doing doing doing for people, but when YOU need something, crickets? The nature of who you are may not allow you to activate the Golden Rule in a negative fashion seeing as how you keep doing unto them but they have YET to do unto you, so you continue to say yes when you’re thinking you should be saying, “I WISH I MIGHT!”

It gets a little old constantly bending over backwards for people and don’t even get a simple thank you. It gets a little old breaking your back for people who stand on your back and prevent you from straightening up.

It takes nothing to show someone you BELIEVE in them; mind you, I said show NOT say. We have to get out of this disloyal and unsupportive state. DO BETTA! It’s funny though because the people you just knew would be there are the main ones on team incognito. Yet, these same people have horrible memory banks because they will fix their lips to ask you for something and then wonder why you’re being “short.” Chile boo…

I know…(100)

  • I have friends/family who will beat the ambulance to the hospital. I know this because some have done just that.
  • I have people in my life who will let me cry, cuss, wallow if that’s what I need, and then encourage/correct me all in one swoop.
  • Praying for me goes without question. (you see I have this thing with CARS hitting my car, so I stay covered – :-))
  • If I need to run up on somebody (I don’t do stuff like that – #shrugs), they coming too, with bail money (again, I don’t do stuff like that because I can’t do jail – She’s cute, so she can’t do jail).
  • If I can’t make it to get my son from the beast known as the car rider line, they got him sometimes without any prior notice.
  • Love is as love does!

I ALSO know…(lessons)

  • I tend to go all in with my whole heart on things, and it hurts when people aren’t appreciative – perceived or reality.
  • There’s a thin line between being nice and being taken advantage of.
  • I can’t expect people to do for me what I do for them. My former pastor would always say, “The people you bless will never bless you.” I think that’s a pretty extreme definite; however, I understand the statement to mean that when you make the choice to be a blessing in someone’s life, you enter into the act of kindness with the understanding that you may never get that thank you or money back or time spent back or loyalty back, but God is pleased when YOUR motive is pure.
  • Even though I get the above epiphany, there will come a time when there is an “I WISH I MIGHT” rising up in my spirit, and it will be those times when I’ll have to pray and remember that it’s not about me.
  • If the person or persons never “get it;” if they never see your value; if they get “brand new” because you go into silent “I wish I might” status (translation – they text, you don’t answer; they leave voicemails, you delete and never listen to them; they call, you hit reject, etc.) – oh well and whatever. Feel free to move on and don’t sign up for guilt class because they will try to make you an unwilling participant. Again, DON’T sign up for that class; walk away!

I want to say a heartfelt thank you to my friends and supportive rocks in my life. Some have been there since I can remember while others got on my path in college and still others became a part of my world within the last few years and months even. I believe

the “when” of the connection isn’t important – the QUALITY is.

I want to build quality relationships with people I value and who will value me. I want to cultivate a spirit of support and encouragement, and I won’t give less to the friend of 6 months than I give to the friend of 20 years. I’m just not built like that.

THINK ABOUT IT. What is the scale by which you determine which friends get the most out of you (time, resources, shoulder to cry on, etc.) and which friends get the “New Friends” package (occasional texts, a church visit maybe, some Facebook likes while you take X amount of time to “feel them out”)? I mean, really, I want to know! Like for real, for real – what is the criteria?!